Hey Chubs…

Blog
Karen Broadwater
June 19, 2016

The first Say Yes to the Dress post from Karen is here! Follow along with Karen as she exposes all those pesky thoughts we feel about our bodies, but are never brave enough to talk about out loud….

You know that moment when you need to look cute? (Or heck, just need to look put together…)

You go to get dressed, try on one outfit…then another…then another…

At some point you black out…

(In this moment, no human on the planet better say a word to you; especially “are you ready yet?” Watch out people…this could get ugly!)

When you come back from “the other side”:

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Your ENTIRE closet is on the floor, and you are hot with anger, or curled in a ball shedding tears…quite possibly even standing there in the buff swearing you’d rather go naked than put any of “those” clothes back on your body.

NOTHING LOOKS GOOD.

NOTHING FITS.

1 of 3 things happens:

  1. You put on your sweats and swear off even going out
  2. You run to the store and spend far too much on an outfit you will later realize isn’t even cute…will not pass go, and will go straight to Plato’s closet…
  3. You go for your “fat” jeans…(cue the dramatic music!)

Uh oh…those don’t fit either…

I have often thought the shot heard around the world was simply a woman whose girdle (modern day: Spanx) didn’t quite work out for the big event she was getting ready for. She took a shotgun and let all her anger out on that blasted thing. (Not that I have considered doing that…just a thought.)

Your “fat” pants have failed you!?! Consider this day over. Eat some cookies, go to bed, and start your new “diet” on Monday.

Poor Monday…it is always setup for utter failure and hangry people…

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The amount of Mondays I have ‘started’ a diet, after a “Fat Jean Fail Friday” are uncountable!

All to fit into clothes!?! Screw’em.

Okay okay okay…it’s not the clothes fault! (but they don’t get off the hook that easily — all the puns intended)

That one dress in my closet TAUNTS me. I’m serious. I think it knows my name…

“Hey Chubs…you’ll never fit into me again! Oh wait…you never did (insert evil laugh).”

It’s that dress I was once so close to fitting into…almost to my “ideal” size…bought it as a reward for all my hard work…but missed the finish line somewhere between wine and cookies… Probably my “rewards” for my great work…

Oh that dress…

Or even those jeans…that I HAVE once worn, and swear I will again…

Dress…meet Jeans…Jeans meet Dress…I hate you both. Be my best friends!?!

Well, no more will I succumb to Manic Monday Misery Meals to only fail again…it is time for a change! Time for those Jeans to know who owns them! Who’s with me!?!

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Let’s do this! Let’s say YES to the dress!

Stay tuned for more blogs from Karen to find out if she finally fits into the jeans — and how Iron Tribe helps get her there!

Karen Broadwater